“Madam, you want I cut up your mango? You want I roast your corn…open your beer?”
        Kohsoom (meaning lotus in Thai) is a welcome addition to this gorgeous beach at the end of the lane that runs alongside our condo complex in Hua Hin on the Gulf of Thailand. She is a remarkable reminder that when life hands you lemons, you make lemonade.
       Kohsoom, she of the laughing black eyes and a smile as warm as the Thai morning ocean breeze, is mother to 4 children, one of which---a girl---has gone with her ex-husband. “I no see her again,” she laments, quickly changing the subject. With 3 children by her current husband, Kohsoom sells fruit and drinks to throngs of tourists who flock to this popular 4 km long beach fronting turquoise ocean water with a sandy sea bed.

        One of Thailand’s many poor, Kohsoom’s story unfolds little by little as we chat with her day by day. She lives on the beach with her 3-year-old son, Noon. From early morning until almost dusk when tourists desert the beach, Kohsoom serves from her stand while Noon plays around her. Every day except Wednesdays. All year. For five years now. A small round grill to roast corn nestles close to the sand. The ubiquitous tools of her vendor trade are scattered around her postage size site: cooler, trailer she hitches to her motorbike, large open umbrella, plastic chairs, plastic water bottles, table and knives for cutting fruit, garbage can, and those inevitable, environmentally-damaging plastic bags.
        She works hard, this lady, charging less for a standard Styrofoam tray of freshly---and neatly---sliced mango, jackfruit, watermelon, pineapple…slightly undercutting the shiny new market stores in nearby malls.
        The Big Boss collects an annual “minimal” sum for her small patch of sandy beach, she says. Her husband, one of a group of Beach Patrol Volunteers who ride horseback (each owns his/her horse) along the beach, is obliged to pay half his profits from horseback riding to the Big Boss. Each morning, before he heads off on his horse, he rakes the sand on her territory and helps set up her stand. Each night, they take it down.

        Despite precautions, she must also guard against thievery “by my own people”. Although the couple dutifully chains their meagre belongings securely to a nearby tree overnight, covering their belongings with a tarp, they are robbed. “We knows who does this,” she shrugs. “They bad people.” All part of living on the beach.
It is young Soon who captures the tourists’ attention. They buy him cold treats from the visiting ice cream truck. Bring him toys. When his sisters are home from school and at the beach with their mom, they play house on the concrete lane and sandy beach. Large banana leaves transform into plates. Bougainvillea blossoms, shells, rocks magically resemble a food feast. Mini sea crabs sometimes capture Soon’s imagination as the tiny crustaceans skitter, scatter to and from their hole homes, forming raised grid patterns across the beach. And, oh yes, the mobile phone gives Soon lots of electronic exposure. The kids ignore the sea, the turquoise sea tourists pay mega bucks to experience.

        Weather elements play a big role in the Fruit Lady’s business. And with the health of her family. When the temperature is in the mid-30s from morn til dusk---when afternoon winds kick up into ferocious velocities allowing kiteboarders to leap and dash and fly across the ocean surface---and your life is on the beach, it’s not so good for little Soon. “He get fever from wind. Heat not good,” she says. We feel the boy’s forehead. Hot. Hot. Hot. He lies listlessly in the open trailer. Half-sleeping.  Whimpering in a never-never land.
        She powders his face. And hers. To protect their skin from the relentless sun.

        The beach is a hive of activity: horseback riders, kiteboarders, sun worshippers, sun strollers, clothing vendors. A background for professional wedding photos. And if you hanker for relaxation, Meow Massage beckons with shaded tables.
        In the end, though, the Fruit Lady epitomizes the beach. She grabs many foreign hearts with her honest, genuine style. “I make okay living,” she says. “Save for my children.” Pauses. Flashes a smile showing even white teeth.
        “Yes. My children. So they grow up good. To study.”

Maps:   Thailand
             Hua Hin

        A sinister looking stranger---streaked with black dirt, smeared with black asphalt--- loomed over my sunbathing body on this Greek Island beach. He cast a shadow, forcing me to open my eyes, look up.
       Yikes…my husband! Holding various parts and pieces of a crashed rental motorbike, he mumbled something about wiping out on a curve on this hilly island. My first worry wasn’t him---after all, he was a responsible adult---it was the safety of two of our three teenage sons who had joined us on Santorini Island. Oh, they’re fine, he glumly admitted. But he was not.

               Fast forward to Thailand where we are current visitors. Motorbikes choke the roads. They weave in, out, and around traffic. Their riders almost always sail through red traffic lights---located few and far between---ignoring basic traffic rules. Worse, riders are often without helmets, including their passengers who range from toddlers to school-age children, sometimes a family of five with the baby squeezed tightly in front of mom.

         Wearing flipflops, scant clothing (it’s hot here!), motorbikes carry not only people but everything from plastic chairs to plants, groceries, pets, caged birds…whatever they need to transport.
        Ever since, I’ve been skittish around motorbikes. Especially rentals.

.        In this country with a sizeable population living in poverty, motorbikes are necessary for transportation. Gasoline, costing 20 baht (85 cents Cdn) and stored in reused liquor/wine bottles, is readily available at roadside stands, restaurants, small businesses….
        Each day and night, we inevitably hear the wail of an ambulance siren and instinctively suspect a motorbike accident. There’s another motorbike accident. With our lodgings near the Bangkok Hospital, it’s easy to spot the victims. In one case, we winced in empathy as we spied a rider/passenger wrapped in neat, sterile-white bandages around his knees/legs and elbows/arms. Painful looking lacerations skidded along one side of his face. He could easily be mistaken for a mumbling mummy stumbling along the sidewalk. As he moved, the word agony comes to mind. Don’t think these patients were Evel Knievel wannabes either.

        A recent newspaper article here reports 80% of motorcycles are prone to accidents. “During the latest deadly week, 205 deaths were motorcycle riders who did not wear helmets.”            

        There’s a 1984 hit song by British singer/actor Murray Head that includes a couple of apropos lines in it… “One night in Bangkok makes a hard man humble…. One night in Bangkok makes the tough guys tumble…”
        I’m sure it’s because the guy is terrified to cross these busy Thai streets. They are crammed/jammed with traffic. Mostly dangerous motorbikes---yikes!

Map:  Thailand

        “Wait ‘til you see others. Maybe at a better price,” my husband suggested to our teenage son. “You can always bargain if that’s the one you really want.”
        We three were in Bangkok, Thailand years ago, navigating our way through one of the many night markets. Our son had spied a tee shirt he liked in a tee-shirt-crammed stall. Carefully searching each subsequent cubicle, he found an outside table tended by a young lady who also carried the tee shirt he coveted. He decided to buy from her.
        Urging him to bargain, as is the custom, we left him alone. Better to learn this common practice on his own.
       A few minutes later he rejoined us holding the favoured tee shirt. “Well,” we asked, “how much did you pay?”
       “Didn’t bargain,” he said.
       “What? Why not?”
        “I decided she needed the money more than I needed to save a few baht,” he said.
       At that moment, we knew our son had learned a valuable life lesson in caring about his fellow man. We approved his action with parental pride.

       Our other two sons also experienced similar life lessons as they matured and headed off in different directions, each living and working in different cultures. We applauded their actions then and we do so now because they have passed on those moral standards and humane ideals to our grandchildren. Two have helped disperse food at soup kitchens. All have friends who dive into helping others and the environment without a second thought.
        Youngsters today think more about the world than did my generation. They are more involved. Our grandchildren and their buddies are looking at ways to get rid of/remedy the oceans clogged with discarded plastic. They spout statistics of doom I never knew about. They work on projects designed to dispel our thoughtless pollution. One granddaughter wants to become a marine biologist and help save sea life.

        In the northern interior of Canada’s British Columbia, the Wet’suwet’en people are reoccupying and protecting their lands to prevent the building of an unwanted pipeline through their territory; news surrounding this highly publicized activity has involved three of our grandchildren. Each one, through their parents and a supportive community, understands and supports the hereditary chiefs’ reasons for protecting their sacred lands.
        You need only read the following letter, widely circulated on social media and written by our 10-year-old grandson, to realize this mad, mad world has a chance to be a better place because of kids…

        Does anyone remember that image of the perfectly roasted turkey being carried ceremoniously to the dining room table while family and friends drooled over the sight of that majestic bird?  American artist, Norman Rockwell, illustrated this special moment in one of his famous renderings.
        Well, the image is just that. An image.
        For many, many years, I have roasted a turkey for Thanksgiving and Christmas. Seems to me I managed to mess it up in as many years.

        I have this fantasy of a perfect Christmas Day with the perfect Christmas dinner. Like magazine editors show in glossy photographs. Outside, thick snowflakes are falling softly and silently from a dark, starry sky. Inside, children play peacefully and happily with toys from Santa in front of a perfectly decorated tree. They don’t know their father was up until the wee hours of the morning trying to assemble a complicated geometric toy or guaranteed fully workable space station to place ready-made under the Christmas tree. (Unfortunately, manufacturers forgot to put in a special screw or bolt or whatever else was lost among the pieces strewn over the floor and under the sofa.) And our young son has finally stopped throwing up from excitement so I can continue preparing the Christmas feast instead of pulling out clean clothes for him after shoving vomit-riddled clothes in the washer.
        At least, I think, there will be a Christmas dinner. It will be perfect this year. It better be. Friends and family are joining us.

        So, to the bird. Seeking excellence, I had researched ‘how to roast a perfect turkey’ for weeks before this big day. Never realized there were so many different roads to perfection. One recipe indicated high heat for the first hour; another called for low temperatures but a longer cooking time. Recommendations were many and varied: brine the bird first; barbeque it on your gas grill outside for a woodsy effect; roast and carve the turkey the day before whilst keeping it moist with its own juices for reheating when needed. Stuff it with dressing. Don’t stuff it with dressing. Rub the skin with butter. Or bacon. Or mustard. Tent it with tin foil. Or not. Pour white wine over the roasting carcass (I feel guilty confessing the sins of my friend who poured red wine over the bird and, well, the visual result was less than appealing).

        Then I found another highly recommended chef recipe for the very best juicy bird. Wrap the turkey first in parchment paper, cover with foil; roast at a low temperature until it’s nearly cooked; remove the foil and parchment then brown in a hot oven until skin is crisp. And don’t forget the meat thermometer…first figure out the thickest part of the thigh where it’s best to insert the thermometer.
        Okay. So now the roasted turkey is ready. Friends and family are gathered around the dining table buzzing with excitement over this most extravagant meal on this most exciting day.
        I’m in a hurry...last minute herbal additions to the gravy to raise it to the gourmet level...then heat it up again…
        OMG! The hot pot slips from my hand. Said pot spills gravy. I watch horrified---suspended in a time warp---as a slimy, brown, murky, hot viscous liquid mercilessly slithers like a prehistoric reptile across the tiles on my kitchen floor. I’m about to scream but I hear the peaceful strains of “Silent Night” in the background.
        I stand there. Defeated. I hear ripples of anticipation from buzzing dinner guests awaiting the anointed bird and its accoutrements.
        Christmas magic?! I don’t think so!

       He came home from World War II a changed man.
       He lied about his age to enlist because he was younger than the official acceptance age.  As the son of a World War I hero, a year-long resident in England with his mother’s family, and an idealist with strong convictions, he held a slightly romantic view of war.  His brother, relatives and friends had already enlisted. It was the exciting, heady mood of the day to ‘sign up’. A talented artist with his own mind, he wanted to join because he felt it in his blood. And it was The Royal Canadian Air Force that attracted him because he wanted to learn to fly.

       There was a systemic problem, though.  His artistic temperament fed a sensitive vein that ran through him. If he saw colours in technicolour, then he saw battle atrocities in vivid replays.  Over and over.
       Soldiers aren’t supposed to be sensitive.  They are taught to be tough robots.
      After his return to civilian life, his subdued temper flared more easily. Tortured by the realities of war, his subsequent art reflected a declining mental state.  Dark canvases featured war lords, demons, and hell.  Years later, his condition would be recognized and labelled as post traumatic stress disorder but at the time, he was diagnosed manic depressive.

       This decent gentle man once took his children for walks in the woods where he paused, listened to the wind whistling through the trees, and whispered: “hear the fairies dancing through the leaves?”  He wore corduroy jackets that warmed his touch and skin, the fabric emitting an aura of sweet tobacco from his pipe: the perfect place to snuggle when the world let you down.  He painted murals on the bathroom walls, creating a fantasy world for his bathing children.  His talent caught the eyes of prominent civic citizens, which led to numerous local newspaper articles and a scholarship. He painted day and night because it was his life’s blood. And in the evening his children, tucked into bed, were comforted when they heard their mother read to him as he put paint to canvas. He encouraged them in all ways creative, from drama and music to art and writing.  Today some of his grandchildren and great grandchildren exhibit---and excel---in those talents. 

       So each November, especially because Remembrance Day is part of this month, I think of him.  Perhaps I’ve embellished some of his characteristics but then, why not?
       For this soldier---who suffered as do all soldiers---was my father.

        Blurry-eyed after a transatlantic flight, I collapse in the airport chair to reconnect my fuzzy brain. A flurry of bright colour flashes by. My bagged eyes follow. She could be a butterfly; her floor-length peacock blue African native dress, splashed with iridescent orange and brilliant yellow flowers, rustles through the drab interior of the waiting room. Golden bracelets, hoop earrings. Matching exotic headdress sits high on her regal head, black hair peeking, falling over smooth brown skin. Fleshy, big-boned, she commands attention. Except a large, frayed elastic bandage encircling her right ankle---bare feet stuffed into a pair of jewel-encrusted sandals---ruins her royal image.
        Welcome to Charles de Gaulle airport in Paris. Local time: 5:00 a.m.

        It’s noon. We are hungry. Dash into a local boulangerie. With loaded baguette in hand, we grab a small table outside the shop to munch food in the sun. Then we see him watching us. Trim black beard, straight back, he sits proudly on the curb, scarf wrapped around his worn suit jacket. Empty paper cup on the sidewalk before him.    Dependent on the generosity of strangers.
        We share half our lunch.
       Later, on le Metro, a young father holding a bottle of half-finished milk while cradling his sleeping infant, lurches down each moving subway car. In his hand, an empty paper cup. Waves it from passenger to passenger for coins.

        In Avignon, closer to the Mediterranean Sea, main streets are dotted with similar silent, docile figures: young, old, male, female. A constant reminder of those less fortunate. We enter a patisserie to purchase a croissant chocolat. We also buy a slice of pizza. The pizza is for the young woman sitting cross-legged on the curb outside the bakery. Lowering her head, she murmurs merci.
        The faces of migrants.

        We are at Gare de Lyon in Paris, preparing to board the highspeed train to Avignon in southwest France. A lonely grand piano sits unattended in the centre of the waiting hall. Until a youth, about 12, sits on the piano bench, and amidst the hub-bub of travellers, begins to play. Beautifully. His train arrives; he quickly departs. Soon after, another traveller sits at the waiting piano. With easy familiarity, his fingers slide over the keys playing a classical piece. Then his train arrives. He departs. And so it goes…a continuous, melodious piano concerto in the middle of madness in a local train station.

        Now our train is ready for boarding: Voiture 6. We walk along the platform. Walk endlessly, dragging our luggage along the full length of this long train. We cannot find Car 6. In stumbling high school French we ask directions from one of the few attendants. He points backwards.We hustle back. Time for departure is near. We do not see numéro 6. Ask again. More pointing back from where we have already dragged our luggage. Not much time. We run. Dragging off-balance luggage behind us. Desperate now. Finally choose any car, no idea what number. Ask a stranger on the voiture. She scans our tickets. Oui, she says, c’est le numéro 6.
        Fall asleep. Exhausted. Wake up three hours later in la gare Avignon.
        And we still have no idea how to find the number on a French highspeed railway car.

        Long, long ago, my heart’s desire was to live in a big city. Lights, action, camera! And great restaurants. My mother raised an eyebrow, warned of dire things in the land of concrete.
        As it turned out, my husband and I did the next best thing. We live in a ‘burb of Toronto the Good (a sarcastic moniker nowadays; once called “Good” because of so-called Victorian high moral standards in the 1800s. Also called Hogtown but that’s another story. And oh yes, a hint that hip hop star, Drake, had renamed TO ‘the 6’ a couple of years ago. But I digress.)
        On occasion, from our home an hour away, we drive or hop on the GO (Government of Ontario) commuter train. Which we did every day for one week recently.

        That’s when reality hit.
        Each morning, aboard the 6:20 a.m. train, I people-watched. There was the blonde woman, hair pulled back in a pony-tail, mid-30s, rings on each finger. (But no bells on her toes…couldn’t resist that...). Her heavy eyes stared into space, flickered momentarily, then closed, her head bouncing on her chest. Instantly asleep.  Beside her, a sharply-dressed middle-aged Suit lowered his face for a mere second, nodded off immediately.
        Looking around the commuter coach, the same scene was replayed but with different characters. Some commuters used earphones, inhaling relaxation music, I imagine, or perhaps listening to business-related data, hoping to absorb a fraction of info before falling asleep.

        This early morning train from suburbia to Toronto was strangely silent, filled with dozing denizens: fellow zombie-like commuters, whiplashed by their bobbing heads rolling around or snapping back and forth. Each sleepyhead trying to catch a few more zzzzz’s before hitting the ground running at Union Station, final stop, tearing off in different directions to their destinations after an abrupt awakening.
        Study after study reveals the unhealthiest part of your work day is your commute, whether sandwiched in public transport---or sandwiched in traffic in a car---on the way to your job. Long commutes (60 minutes) affect your mental and physical wellbeing. Researchers point to rising blood sugar and cholesterol levels, an increase in stress, anxiety and depression. Plus your waistline adds inches. Presumably because of snacking more. Usually on unhealthy food.

        And if you’re stuck in a crowded, standing-room only public transport bus, tram or subway, there is added mental discord. Zero personal space. Fellow passengers bug you. Like the too-loud cell phone talker next to you. Who cares whether her drapes are black or gold or fall off the window in shreds?
        And if you actually find a seat on a crowded subway, you may find a standing male’s pant zipper or a woman’s heaving breasts stuck inches from your face.  And how unjust being forced to contend with the sitting-next-to-you stranger who emits an odour most foul! Or you could be squished like a sandwich while standing---physically closer than you’ve been with your partner for ages---no support needed--- on an overly-crowded bus.

        After this rat-race experience, it was time to rethink by big city obsession. More and more I noticed articles on why someone broke loose and moved to the country.             
        Seems the first delightful discovery is living simply. Slower pace of life. Less pollution generally. Friendlier folks. Walking to the market. Stopping to smell the roses. Having once lived in an Ontario town, population 5,000, I got it.
        So maybe I could have been one of those zoned-out zombies trying to keep constant deadlines, eating on the run, chronically tired, depressed, edging towards insanity. But by some good luck, I’m not.
        My mother’s advice was sound: better be careful what you wish for.

        As you read this, pretend you are a child of summer again. Lying in the tall waving grass at the top of a favourite hill. One of your bestest things to do is close your eyes, let yourself go, and roll down the hill. See how far you get. Do you curve left or right or roll straight down?
        When you open your eyes, glance upward, catch some lazy time. Watch floating white fluffy clouds---in elephant or fish shapes---slowly drift by high in the sky. A fuzzy bumble bee, oblivious to your presence, buzzes around the chicory weed on your right. The bee lands on the plant’s purple flower to gather its pollen. You marvel at how close you are, yet how ignored by the insect. A grasshopper jumps nearby, landing on a blade of grass not far from your field of vision. Your eyes are like those in a giant head as you watch this not-so-attractive-but-fascinating bug sway on the blade in the breeze. In every direction you see green, green, and more green. You feel at peace.                   
        Maybe you didn’t know it then, but you were in perfect harmony with Nature.

        Fast forward to Summer 2018.
        Be afraid. Be very afraid.
      Today’s walk in the tall grass of a favourite wooded area harbours dangerous insects, eager to land on unprotected skin, suck your blood, and leave you with a debilitating disease. Like Lyme Disease, West Nile Virus, or the sometime life-threatening effects of a wasp sting.
        Like monsters hiding under our childhood beds or running rampant in fairy tales, Lyme Disease is our newest walk-in-the-wood villain; the disease is spread by ticks found worldwide.

        West Nile Virus infected mosquitoes are rapidly taking away the pleasure of walking in the woods, too. The latest info advises you to spray preventive---and toxic---chemicals on your bare skin.
        As for bees and/or wasps---if their stings trigger allergic reactions---you have a hazardous health problem.
        Unfortunately, insects are not the only danger in the wild these days.

        This summer, noxious fumes from multiple forest fires rule the world. In Canada, the province of British Columbia is particularly hard hit. Family and friends from around the province complain of headaches, sore throats, respiratory difficulties, all caused by smoky skies.
A poignant prayer from our artist son lights up the apocalyptic scene and captures the essence of Nature’s fragility: these fiery hot spots---raging out of control--- are not natural nor beneficial for forest regrowth. Constant, licking flames deliver instant destruction to people, wildlife, and property.    Negative effects bombard the environment.

        As a child, my fondest memories are long hikes in Canadian woods with cool running brooks, tall erect evergreens, warbling bug-eyed frogs, stately standing blue herons, the haunting call of the loon on a quiet inland lake….
But these idyllic memories clash with today’s realities. A hike in the woods now is almost akin to mediaeval times when the very idea of going into the woods sat in the dark heart of fairy tales. Then, the forest was a threatening, mystical world, filled with unknown misadventures, terrible challenges, and life or death decisions.
        Sometimes, when my husband and I head out for a hike today, with necessary garb like long pants tucked into long socks tucked into hiking boots, wearing long sleeves in Sahara-sweat temperatures, protective hat on vulnerable head, carrying a backpack with water, energy bars, ointments, bug spray, sun protection from UV rays, and yes---a cell phone---I get the feeling there’s a big bad wolf or bug or fire out there somewhere just waiting to gobble me up.

        I didn’t feel a thing.
        Here we were, walking barefoot on the sand along the beach, reconnecting with Nature, breathing in the salt sea air of the ocean. Feeling great, almost smug, that we were among those fortunate to be on vacation while the rest of our friends were slaving at some job.
        Not.

        Eight hours later, large red, swollen welts appeared on the back of my legs, on my arms, and on my back. Same with my husband. I looked disease-riddled, unhealthy and unsightly. Ugly as in UGLY!
        And itchy! Scratch. Scratch. Scratch until blood appeared. As bad as a dog with fleas.
       Because the welts appeared so long after our beach walk---in fact, overnight---we suspected bed bugs in our hotel bed. But research proved us wrong. Bed bug bites appear all over your body, not only on specific parts. Plus, blowing a hair dryer after lifting a mattress revealed nothing. (The hot air is supposed to send bed bugs scurrying from hiding places.)

        So what could be biting us?
     A few other hotel guests also sported these tell-tale welts and finally, after consulting with similar victims, we learned, too late, we had provided a feast for sand flies. Nasty, not-fighting-fair insects that we can’t see or hear or feel until after their biting damage is done.
        What to do? Remedy suggestions are varied:
      Spray yourself with lavender oil. Insect repellant. Vinegar. Rub your bite with Tiger Balm. Garlic. Calamine Lotion. Baking soda with water. Salt. Stay away from the beach at dawn and dusk. Wear long pants and long sleeve tops. Wear socks!

        What happened to the romanticism of the beach? Lying half-naked, your lover beside you, trickling grains of sand into your navel, as you both listen to the rhythm of life through the undulating waves of the endless sea while the smiling sun goddess caresses your nubile body.
       Wait! This erotic scenario ignores the scourge of sand flies!

        I went on sand fly information overload when I researched the subject. 
        Sorry to say, sand flies are biting us worldwide. However, based on their genus, distribution is categorized as either old world or new world sand flies. The genera Lutzomyia, Brumptomia and Warileya occur in the new world countries, while the genera Phlebotomus and Sergentiomyia occur in the old world countries.
        Conclusion: you can’t escape them anywhere!
       Anyone else out there have any experience with sand flies and how to contain these nasty little critters?
        Or, is it as has been long predicted:
        Insects rule!

        She left her comfortable home in British Columbia, Canada, without knowing where she was going or what kind of a life she might lead. On the long road trip, she drove in the car with him, blindly faithful, dependent on his love and affection---and wily ways---to get them where he wanted to go. Through the uncertainty of the United States, the dangers of Mexico’s drug lord territorial wars, the fickleness of their vehicle, they soldiered forth, like flying on a wing and a prayer in a lightplane. Sometimes, at night, when they stopped for bed and rest, motels refused them occupancy. Because of her.

        Finally, they stopped in Belize City, Central America.  To begin a new life in ungodly heat and humidity, matched only by new strains of insect bites, erupting, itchy, on virgin skin. Yet she hung in there. Trusting her mentor. She even got used to ungodly weather, like hurricanes. Probably uncomfortable, she never complained: loyal, loving, and lost in adoration for him. Even today.

        Her name is Annie. A beautiful border collie. And we visited her folks while they lived in Belize where we soon learned: Annie ruled supreme in the household.
So maybe she didn’t have her own TV (did you know dog television for $5US a month is now a valid channel?) but Annie was royalty, above the common folk like us. Her owner even homecooked, then froze for future use, special doggie food* for her.
One hot, humid day, we waited expectantly for a chef-inspired meal in Annie’s owners’ air-conditioned apartment.

        We had just returned from a hot, humid sightseeing adventure to Altun Ha, nearby Maya archeological ruins. We were sweaty, tired, and mucho hungry.
        As we sat around our hosts’ bountiful table, extolling the virtues of tropical fruits, my salivary glands anticipated the fresh beef stew dish prepared by our chef/host. Animated conversation, long cool drinks, the click clack of eating utensils---even Annie sitting longingly beside our chef/host at the head of the table--- presented the perfect Norman Rockwell painting of generous hospitality and culinary delight.  With gusto, we dug into our beef stew, rich with gravy, simmered to perfection with healthy chunks of carrots, eggplant, and squash. Delicious!
        I happened to notice during this fabulous repast, however, that our usually animated host was not so. In fact, looking round the table, I heard conversation from everyone except our chef.
        “You’re awfully quiet,” I said. “Feeling okay?”

        “Um,” he replied, his hand on the nose of his favourite Annie. “….feelin’ fine.”
Suddenly I noticed he hadn’t eaten a morsel of food. “You sure? You haven’t eaten a thing.”
        He shifted slightly in his chair. “Um…” His voice trailed off.
        “What..?”
        “This stew,” he commented slowly. “I made a mistake. This is Annie’s food.”
        Stunned silence. Slowly, deliberately, each diner put down knife and fork.
        I looked at Annie. She cocked her head.
        “Sorry ‘bout this,” our host said. “Say something...anything…like you’re mad at me…!”
        Thinking carefully now. What could/should I say? Unexpectedly---as if from a galaxy, far, far away, as if I no longer controlled what I said---I heard my words tumble forth automatically:
        “Bark. Bark.”
        Like I said, it’s a dog’s life.

        *see comments below for Annie’s food recipe

Map: Belize